Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Present

I have been working on such new-agey crap as being in the moment. Observing my reactions without judgement. Gag, I know. But I think it actually helps.

For example, when my daughter got off the phone with her BFFFEF (she lost me after the second F. Suffice it to say she likes this kid.) and said BFFFEF tells my daughter that her BF services will no longer be needed because she just had the BEST PLAY-DATE EVER with her NEW BF, well I calmly observed that I had a strong desire to slug a 45 pound 6-year-old. I am a Zen master.

But, really, rather than getting all bunched up and trying to arrange even BETTER play-dates to win back the friend and generally flailing around helplessly, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this will happen approximately 750 million times in my kid's life. Especially with the girls. I don't know why. I can't fix it. I can't prevent it.

I hugged my girl and tried to help her give her feelings words. We talked about what makes someone a friend and what it takes to be a good friend. About kindness and forgiveness and people who feel good to be around. I tried my best to be stoic, but my heart hurt for her with her big blueberry eyes all red from crying.

Today I picked her up from school and she had a hand written invitation to a Puppy Party at the friend's house. I asked her if she wanted to go. She said "Of course! I want to bring chicken tenders." Living in the moment...

2 Comments:

Blogger Gaea said...

Calm. Blue. Ocean. Why do they have to be such M'erFer's?! Calder has a little girl in her class who will not be nice to him. She goes out of her way to "be mean to me." I'm convinced that she really likes him and can't say "can you be my friend" in a nice way. Why is being a parent so hard? Did our parents care as much as we do? Did they get bent out of shape over it too?

February 3, 2010 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Joelle said...

All I know is if my kids got 1/4 the crap I did in school, we would be living in a tent in the Appalachian mountains before I'd send them back to that snake pit! i don't recall my parents being particularly bent out of shape about it.

Calder should just go up to that girl and kiss her. That'd settle her hash.

February 5, 2010 at 3:21 PM  

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