Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My depression-let me show you it

As much as I try to make light of it, sometimes depression likes to jump up and show me who's boss. I have been on and off medication for depression since I was 18. I hate taking it. I realize that, for me, depression is a chemical imbalance in my brain and taking medication to correct it is no different than taking insulin if I was diabetic, but I still hate it. Because it is my brain, and who am I if not my brain? If I alter my brain, am I truly myself? Granted, being myself won't do me much good if I'm in a fetal position somewhere, but still. 

Every so often, I try to wean myself off. I am surprised by the quickness of my thoughts at those times. I am also surprised by the amount of anger I feel. Within a few days, I am crying on the couch, feeling like crap because I actually do need those damn pills. 

Still, I can't help wondering what happens to all that anger if I just never allow myself to feel it? What else is down there, tucked away under all that medical cotton batting?


Blogger Gaea said...

: )

August 15, 2008 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Libby said...

I know. Me too.

September 7, 2008 at 12:08 AM  
Blogger Lorelei said...

time to move on party people.
put a smile on those faces and
let's blog about something happier!


p.s. thanks for buying some earrings from me. Lets see some pics of them on that pretty head of yours! :)

September 10, 2008 at 7:33 AM  
Blogger Gaea said...

Feed me!

September 18, 2008 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger Lorelei said...




just an echo gaea. Nothin.
Come back, come on don't leave me come back!!
Picture the kid with this tongue stuck to the flag pole in A Christmas Story..

October 14, 2008 at 5:22 PM  

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